I really thought I was going to enjoy Phuket, but I ended up being let down. Finding a legitimate Thai experience in Phuket is not possible. It is a place created entirely for tourists and farang outnumber Thais easily 3 to 1. Most of the visitors are from Europe and Australia, some families on holiday and the rest are best compared to frat boys out looking to get drunk and laid. I did not find many single travelers while in Phuket. The prices are overinflated and the whole island makes Bangkok seem wholesome. I stayed near the infamous Banghla road which was basically a red-light district. Anyone looking to pay for sex would definitely not have a difficult time finding it.
The beach is indeed beautiful and the water is perfect, but my beach experience was limited to one day as I got one hell of a sunburn that kept me from laying out in the sun for the rest of the week. The beach is overcrowded and it is impossible to keep from being pestered by the scores of touters walking up and down looking to sell little trinkets or to convince you to overpay for jetski. After my second day in Phuket I quickly booked a ferry ticket to Koh Phi Phi island, which was sold as a beautiful get away from the tourist-infested Phuket.
Phi Phi is most definitely an incredibly beautiful island, and the lack of motorized vehicles makes it much quieter than Phuket, but it's hardly a get away from tourists as I imagine 90% of the islands inhabitants are from England, Ireland, Australia, or Northern Europe. I would definitely recommend visiting Phi Phi, but as a single traveler it can be very lonely at times. Most of the people there are traveling in large groups and are inbetween 18-21 years old looking to be drunk through as much of the day as possible. The bars are lively and going to a bar on the beach is fun, but the people there are hardly warm and inviting like they are in a city like Bangkok, which most of these tourists avoid because they are too intimidated by it. On my last night on Phi Phi, I met two friendly Berkeley grads and we had a great time drinking on the beach and watching the World Cup final between Holland and Spain. Most on the island were supporting Holland, due to the large number of Dutch visiting, but they all left disappointed as Spain proved why it was the favorite from day 1.
After two more days in Phuket, it was time to go to Chiang Mai, a portion of the trip I was highly anticipating. I took the night train from Bangkok, which was a great experience. I sat across from a 75 year old Red Shirt who barely spoke english but tried his best to teach me helpful Thai expressions and phrases while buying me Heineken after Heineken. I found sleeping on the night train to be very difficult and only got two hours of sleep, if that. My first night in the city, I walked around the famous Night Bazaar and decided that I was going to call it an early night. As luck would have it, while walking back to my room, I ran into an Australian named Sandy who insisted I join him that night while he went bar hopping. I ended up having a great night and ended up meeting a nice Thai girl named Pukie, an ex-bar girl who quit her job because she refused to act like she liked the disgusting old men who routinely visit Thai bars, who has since helped make my time in Chiang Mai a great one. (Side note: all farang looking for a normal Thai girl, be ready to buy their food and drinks as it's expected that the male shows them a good time, but rest assured they'll make sure to return the favor.) I was able to check out early from my guest house as she invited me to stay at her apartment, which was a nice experience.
My week flew in Chiang Mai flew by and it was time for my visa run to Vientiane. The trip included a ride on a "VIP Bus" which was nothing more than a packed van with overpowering A/C. Sleep aboard this vessel was literally impossible for more than 10-20 minutes at a time. One time I was incredibly excited because I had dosed off for an entire 50 minutes! To say the least it was a miserable experience. Unfortunately, the worst had yet to come. We arrived in Nong Khai at 6am where I learned I had to pay an extra 200 baht to be able to continue across the border into Laos. We were served free breakfast, toast and jam with tea, but that was hardly worthwhile as no one could finish their toast before their plate was swarmed by bees after the jelly. I had to abandon mine a few bites in. From there we hoped onto one bus that took us through Thai immigration across the Thai-Laos Friendship Bridge to Laos Immigration. There I learned I had to pay 1,540 baht to apply for an entrance Visa to their country which included an overtime charge because we arrived before 8am, which is funny seeing as all bus services take tourists to Laos immigration before 8, not the last time I would be ripped off in Laos. There they made the British and American tourists wait for over an hour to get approved, while letting everyone else go through after 20-30 minutes, again not the last time I would encounter anti-farang sentiment while in Laos. Again, the worst was yet to come.
After finally crossing the border, it was time to get dropped off at the Thai Embassy to get my 3 month visa, but as I got off the bus, the driver closed the door and drove away before I could grab my bag. Great, there goes all my clothes, somewhere into Vientiane. No time to track the bus down, I only had an hour to get my visa application in, couldn't let the trip become a complete waste. After filling in my application and getting to the counter, I learned that the paper work I had, which was supposed to be enough to get my 3 month visa, was not acceptable. I could only get a tourist visa. Shit, what a disaster this trip was becoming. No time to linger on the visa rejection, I had to find my suitcase. I found a tuk-tuk driver and asked him to take me to a guest house near by. He overcharged me to take me to an overpriced guest house with an unfriendly staff. I was able to call my travel agent who tracked down the bus and told me they would deliver the bag where they dropped me off, the Thai Embassy, at 5:30pm. I had time to kill so I decided to walk around Vientiane, which is an underwhelming city. The city is strewn with half-constructed buildings with no sign of anyone working on them or anyone working on them in a while. The other buildings look old and dilapidated and every other building is the Ministry of something or other with a giant Laos crest on the front. Every building flies both the Laos flag and the well-known sickle and hammer flag. On every street corner are police in their Communist uniforms sitting around doing nothing. Homeless people urinating on walls are a common site while walking the broken sidewalks of Vientiane. Laos claims to be The Land of Smiles and of Wholehearted People, but I didn't find many on my excursion. I was commonly glared at and on one occasion a man stared at me, yelled something in Laotian, stomped the ground, and positioned himself so his back was to me as I walked by. At this point, I was incredibly homesick for Thailand.
Next, it was time to get my bag back. I got a tuk-tuk to take me to the Embassy only to find that it was closed and that my bag was not there. Great, my travel agent was wrong. I had to find out where that bus was going to be. Luckily my tuk-tuk driver was willing to help me. We drove to one bus station, nope wrong one, across the city to the other bus station, nope not here. My hope was dimming and I started to think I was going to have to replace all my clothes, but my tuk-tuk driver wasn't going to give up. He went to a business run by one of his friends and asked him if he knew where that bus would be, and thank God, he knew. We went to that bus stop and that bus hadn't arrived yet. We waited for over an hour and then the bus showed up with my bag. As with all my experiences in Laos, it didn't come without an overly steep price as the bus driver extorted me for 40,000 kip, about 160 baht, to get my bag. The guy was a rotten bastard but I was relieved to get my clothes back. I gave the tuk-tuk driver 100,000 kip for taking 3 hours of his day to run me around Vientiane to help me find my bag, he was a good man. That night I drank many BeerLao, the only beer you can buy in Vientiane outside of Heineken and Carlsburg, and sang Karaoke at a bar with only Laotians beside the Mekong River.
The next day I got my passport back from the embassy and endured another fee, this time for exiting Laos, and a long van trip to Chiang Mai. I got back at 6am and couldn't be happier to be out of Laos.
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