Those last few days were some of the hardest days of my life. It is never easy to abandon someone you care about, and that was what I was about to do to you. No matter how hard I try, I cannot forget those nights you cried yourself to sleep in my arms. I can still feel the way you trembled as I tried and failed to console you. Nothing I said was going to change our harsh reality. Those few months together had gone by too quickly and neither of us was ready to say good bye. You told me you never wanted to hurt again and there was nothing I wanted more than to grant you that wish, but life had other plans for us. You were my most loyal companion, always waiting for me with a smile when I came back from the schools. Just a look into your eyes would wipe away all the stress of the day. You gave me a glow that everyone could see. When I close my eyes, I remember the touch of your soft, smooth skin, the smell of your silky hair, the gentle glow of your warm brown eyes.
Those summer days we spent with each other were some of the best of my young life. The days we wasted in bed, staring into one another's eyes, those are the memories that no one can ever take away from us. Those are the memories I want of you. You looked into my soul and you told me you knew what kind of person I was, what I am capable of, and those words still move me to this day. You were my Little Puks, my Puk Sek Sek, and my swoi ma ma, but more than that, you were my best friend over there. That is why it kills me to think that you are alone. I remember the call when I was on the bus to Bangkok begging me to turn around like it was ten minutes ago. It broke my heart to hear you like that, I knew I had broken my promise to never hurt you. You say you will wait for me, but why must you do so? I don't want you to hurt, I don't want you to cry anymore. There are better men than me out in this world, and I hope that if you find one, you forget about me. More than anything, I want you to be happy and I know that I can't be the only man who can bring you joy and comfort. I hope one day soon you realize I'm just a normal guy, nothing special, and nothing worth waiting for.
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